Monday, October 31, 2005



Mrs. Garrison vows to stop same-sex marriage in an all-new episode of South Park premiering Wednesday, November 2 at 10:00 P.M. on Comedy CentralMrs. Garrison’s “ex” plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the bill allowing gay marriage in Colorado in an all new episode of "South Park," entitled "Follow That Egg!," premiering Wednesday, November 2 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central. As Slave and Big Gay Al prepare to marry, the townspeople of South Park rally the Governor to outlaw gay marriage. In a fit of jealously, Mrs. Garrison develops his own case study using the kids to prove that same sex couples cannot care for a child. The boys are determined to get an “A” on their class assignment and Mrs. Garrison is just as committed to seeing they fail!!!

I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!! This is a dream episode for a lot of fans!!!!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

MR. SLAVE RETURNS!!!! Episode 910: Follow That Egg- Mrs. Garrison realizes he still has feelings for Mr. Slave. But, Mr. Slave has moved on. He plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Mrs. Garrison leads the charge against gay marriage!!!!


Steven Stotch
Linda Stotch
Heidi Turner
Heidi's mom
Heidi's dad
Other Girls
Other Boys
Quality Curtains Woman
The Farmer Mechanic Guy
Father Maxi
Doctor #2


Lezzing Out- 3
Damn- 2
Jesus Christ!
Hell- 2
Son of a Bitch

Saturday, October 29, 2005

According to South Park Studios..

South Park: The Complete 7th season will be released around March 2006!! I will keep you updated! They're releasing them fast!

I am watching the 3 Halloween episodes of South Park tonight! Pinkeye, Spooky Fish, and Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery.

Rock on..

Friday, October 28, 2005

Even though season 9 isn't over yet the start date for season 10 has been announced!

Season 10 of South Park will premiere on...

MARCH 22 2006!!! 7 NEW EPISODES!!

Thursday, October 27, 2005



909 was another solid episode! An unofficial Halloween episode too if you consider the sub-plot and the time of the year it aired. I think most fans would agree with that statement. The first one since 1999! Butters was at his funniest as Majorine! Cartman was at his very best! All the school children were featured in this great episode, boys and girls! Mrs. Garrison was hilarious too with his line about "what every girl likes..". I really, really enjoyed this episode. Even though the ending was really funny, the episode ended too soon. Too abrupt! I wanted it to last much longer! They should have made it into 2 episodes like they were going to in the first place. Still, I LOOOOVED it! Now, here is more of my review in bullets with notes, trivia, and analysis of the episode...

* I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!! I knew before this episode even aired that the future-telling device the girl's had was going to be that paper thingy! I remember girls use to play with those freakin things all the time at reccess when I was in elementary school.

* This episode was a spoof of the horror movie series Pet Cemetary. It also spoofed the short horror suspense story The Monkeys Paw.

* During one of the commercial breaks, they had an advertisment for Issac Haye's Greatest Hits. I never knew Issac had that many hits! We need a Chef episode really soon!

* Cartman's 'Respect my Authoritah' line was used in this episode!

* One of the games the girls played at the slumber party was Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. What the fuck is that?

* This episode also spoofed the long-running TV show Stargate. ( Check it out on the Sci-Fi Channel)

* We meet Heidi's parents in this episode. Her sweet, soft- spoken, caring mom and her macho Hulk Hogan-like daddy.

* I am suprised Tweek didn't freak out in this episode. He kept quiet as a mouse. The boys were under a lot of PRESSURE trying to steal that future telling device!!!

* Boy...Mrs. Garrison is obsessed with having her snizz/snootch/snatch pounded! (Hey, what girl doesn't?! AM I RIGHT?!! HUH!?!)

* I wish Craig would flip someone off again...he has grown out of that habit, unfortunately. :(

* Cartman calls Butters a black asshole, even though he is not black. I thought that name was only reserved for Token, the real black asshole. Hmmm...interesting! He called Token that in episode 709: Christian Rock Hard when they started a Christian rock band. That episode is on as I am writing this! ( 2 years ago it first aired)

* I am shocked at how much Butter's parents miss him. Last year around this time, they were willing to sell him to Paris Hilton! They didn't think twice about that.

* I would have liked to see Barbrady with the rest of the cops...

* The creepy story-telling farmer mechanic with a thick Main eaccent appears in this episode! He appeared in the season 5 finale, Butters Very Own Episode, and an early 6th season episode called Asspen. He's fucking awesome!

* Clyde was really funny in this episode! I loved his accented tyranical outburst at Kyle at the beginning of this episode when they were in Cartman's basement. I think if they get rid of Kenny again, he would make a great 4th boy. (I wouldn't want Kenny gone forever though). He proved it in this episode.

* Matt and Trey got the right to play a REAL Justin Timberlake song in this episode. His 2002 hit single Rock Your Body. The girls danced to it for about 10 seconds during the slumber party in the basement. ( Btw, I FUCKING hate that song and that pussy!)

* MARJORINE...BUTTERS....GET IT!! HAHAHAHA ( I am so fucking embarrassed, I didn't get it at first..honestly)

* Why didn't Tweek, Jimmy, Timmy, Kenny, and Token have lines?

* South Park's priest Father Maxi has his first speaking role in season 9 overseeing bacon Butters funeral in this episode.

* Butters mom's hysteria was hilarious and very believeable! Good voice work!

* Kevin and Bill TALK in this episode! 2 classmates of the 4 boys who haven't had speaking roles in a long, long, LONG time! TRIVIA: Kevin's parents are Chinese, but he is not.

* Cartman's talk of 'lezzing out' was hilarious! Hand gesture included! It reminded me of my middle school when all the kids were walking around making those signs. Girls, pretruding their cheeks like they are shoving something in their mouth, and Boys, sticking their tongue between their spilt fingers. Ahhh...memories....

* The dramatic, scary music in this episode was really, really well done. It really added to the feel of this episode. I heard Matt Stone had a lot to do with that aspect of last nights new episode.

* The shot of Butter's dad in the graveyard digging him up was sweet too. If you taped it, rewatch it now and see what I mean.

Episode 909 BROUGHT IT! I loved it! It was well-written and very clever. So far, both season 9.5 shows have been strong eps in the series. I can't wait to see what they deliver next week. Matt and Trey are hard at work on episode 910 right now!!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

That episode fucking kicked ass! A full, detailed review will be posted tomorrow night! Look for that. I'm going to bed...I have to get up early. I'll leave you with this hilarious quote from the new episode...

Mrs. Garrison: Now Majorine, that isn't very ladylike. Us Colorado girls like getting our snizz pounded like any other woman, but we keep it to ourselves!


A fantastic South Park article! For once, the writer who is writing about South Park actually knows something about the fucking show.

Check it out guys!



The boys fake Butters’ death and reintroduce him to the girls as Marjorine in an all new episode of "South Park," entitled "Marjorine," premiering Wednesday, October 26 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central. Meanwhile, as his parents dabble in the dark arts in an effort to bring him back to life, Butters thinks he might like being a girl

Sweet! I can't wait!!!

I've also learned that this episode was going to be a 2-parter but then it was decided to cut it into 1 solid, funny episode. I have mixed feelings about that. I would have loved a 2-parter because South Park rarely has them and it would be very interesting and exciting. On the other hand, with only the limited amount of new episodes a year I'd like a fresh storyline every episode. Also, work on episode 910 is underway!!

Sorry...this is late


1. Stan: I broke the dam

2. Everyone: We didn't listen!!!

3. Mrs. Garrison: I am in pretty bad leg is broken and my left boob is leaking

4. Guy: George Bush doesn't care about beavers!

5. Mrs. Garrison: We need

6. Cartman: Look, I know you think he's your best friend, but Kyle is a Jew rat! He has his Jew ethics while he hoards his greedy Jew gold, and he will Jew you out if you tell him about this!

7. Stan: Look, maybe we can help those people in Beaverton
Kyle: How?
Cartman: Why?

8. Cartman: Handover the Jew gold Kyle!

9. Stan: Dude! Dude, did you see that news last night?
Cartman: Yeah
Stan: Yeah You saw all those people trapped on their roofs?
Cartman: Shyeah, that was pretty funny

10. Stan: Global Warming isn't happening right now. Its not what caused the Beaverton flood.
Kyle: How do you know that?
Stan: Because I know what did cause the flood
Kyle: George Bush?
Stan: No
Kyle: Terrorists?
Stan: No
Kyle: Communists?

Stan: No
Kyle: Chinese radicals?

Stan: No
Kyle: Cartman?...
Stan: Sorta

Do you agree or disagree?

Monday, October 24, 2005,1002,271982271,00.html


Sunday, October 23, 2005

*ALL NEW* EPISODE 909: MARJORINE- The 4th grade girls are having a sleepover. It’s imperative that the boys find out what goes on behind those closed doors. Butters is picked to be the boy who must fake his death, become a girl and infiltrate this age-old feminine tradition!!! THIS WEDNESDAY!!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2005 top 10 quotes today! I will post them tomorrow though. I just got in from a busy night out. I went to a haunted house, the mall, and Subway with a friend. I am EXHAUSTED!!


Friday, October 21, 2005

Episode 908: Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow


Do you ever wonder how many swears are in each episode of South Park? Probably not....but here is the swear count for the new episode.

* Fuck/Fucking- 2
* Assholes
* Dumbass
* Fag
* God Damn- 3
* Jesus Christ!

I hope you enjoyed that. LOL!!

Tomorrow, the top 10 quotes from 'Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow'.


The boys classmates
Steven Stotch
Linda Stotch
Randy Marsh
Sharon Marsh
Shelly Marsh
Grandpa Marsh
Redneck hillbilles
Mr. Derp
Mr. Adler
Sheila Broflovski
Gerald Broflovski
Principle Victoria
Craig's Parents
Wendy's Dad
The military people
Tom Pusslicka the newsman
Officer Barbrady

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Episode 908: Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow


Episode 908 was a solid, clever, hilarious topical episode equal to other current event themed episodes of the past like Quintuplets 2000, Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants, and Best Friends Forever. So much funny shit was crammed into 20+ minutes!! I prefer to use bullet points to discuss the episode. I am also going to write trivia and the episode references. I hope you find what I write interesting...

* Obviously, this episode took on Hurricane Katrina and it was pulled off beautifully. The message of this episode was stop playing the blame game, and help the victims, because we're all at fault. "I BROKE THE DAM!!!"

* This episode also spoofed the 2003 blockbuster 'The Day After Tomorrow. Scene by scene at times! "WE DIDN'T LISTEN!!!!"

* Is Cartman trying to steal Stan away from Kyle? Hmmmm...

* Where the HELL was Kenny? Maybe it will be explained in the next episode, but I highly doubt it. It was still great without him though.

* We finally find out the last name of the South Park newsman Tom: Pusslicka!!

* Question--Where the HELL was the Mayor in this episode? It seems like Randy Marsh took over the mayor role again in this episode as "disaster" struck the town. Personally, I think he would make a great mayor of South Park!

* Great job with all the real fire in this episode! I thought that looked sweet. It shows how much the show has evolved over the last 9 seasons.

* After crashing into the beaver dam, Stan wonders if he hurt any beavers. Stan has always had a boner for animals as Cartman would put it. In the Volcano episode he didn't want to hunt. In Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride he braved the winter weather to find Sparky, and in the 6th season episode Fun with Veal he led the crusade against protecting little baby cows.

Did you notice what all the lawmakers were yelling in the governor's office? PEAS AND CARROTS!!! PEAS AND CARROTS!!!!!

* Global Warming was also covered in episode 302: Spontaneous Combustion and Randy Marsh had the lead role in that episode too.

* I fucking love it when Randy Marsh says STAN!!!!! STAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!! He is one of my favorite adult characters.

* Republicans and Democrats were bashed in this episode! On the Republican side, A cliche dissenting Republican, The Fox News Channel, and the redneck hillbillies. On the Democrat side, The people who blame GWB for everything, The liberal view of Global Warming, and the Blame Game played after Hurricane Katrina.

* " George Bush doesn't care about Beavers" says one man. A few days after Hurricane Katrina dumbass rapper Kanye West said " George Bush doesn't care about black people" at a primetime celebrity telethon.

* seems like they built a 'Grocery Mart' where the Wal-Mart use to be. ( SEE: Episode 809: Something Wal-Mart this Way Comes)

* Cartman tells Stan to lie and say they were at his house playing tea party. Cartman is known to play strange games when he is by himself. He first played tea party in the first season finale 'Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut'. It won him $3,000 though!!

* I loved the media exaggerations of the numbers. 600 billion people dead!!

* Randy Marsh's dick map, CLASSIC!! I laughed my ass off. I didn't see that coming. (get it! hahahaha!)

* I think its safe to say that Grandpa Marsh lives with Stan now. Almost every episode that the whole Marsh family is feautured in the last 4 seasons Grandpa has been there with them. I guess he needs to be looked after. He is 111 years old, for Christ sake!!! I guess he has given up trying to kill himself too.

* The Crab People resurfaced again 2 years after they were introduced in episode 708: South Park is Gay! They were also referenced in an episode last fall, too. Episode 811: Quest for Ratings.

* Butters dad's name is Steven again! In season 5 it was Steven, but for seasons 6, 7, and 8 it was Chris.

* I was hoping Chef would have had a bigger role in this episode because he is such a prominent member of the community. (or at least he use to be....)

* A lot of people have said that Cartman's constant ripping on Kyle's Jewish faith has grown stale and tired. Cartman has always picked on Kyle for being a Jew, but it has escalated the last 4 seasons. I don't agree that it has grown old though. I thought the 'Jew Gold' sub-plot was hilarious!!! For a minute there at the end, I thought Cartman was going to kill Kyle or push him in the fire!

* Mrs. Garrison had 2 hilarious lines in this episode.

" I am in pretty bad shape, I broke my leg and my left boob is leaking."

"We need food, and silicone!"

* ANOTHER question-- Where was Ike?!?! He wasn't there! AHHH...poor Ike, I hope he is okay!

* Mr. Adler ( Tweek Vs. Craig) and Mr. Derp ( Succubus) make cameo non-speaking appearances in this episode! Mr. Adler has made many cameo non-talking appearances during school scenes over the last 5 seasons, but this is the first appearance by Mr. Derp since the Timmy 2000 episode at the beginning of season 4! I would love to see both of them have speaking parts again. My fingers are crossed!

Overall, I thought episode 908 was a great way to start off season 9.5!! It kicked major fucking ass! I can't wait for episode 909 next week!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


A kick ass, sweet South Park article!! READ THIS!!

Trey Parker has a confession to make. "I've started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making 'South Park' and I always have," he said during a recent visit to New York. He continued: "It's super stressful. I'm always miserable. I want to kill myself every week."Mr. Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of "South Park," will have that problem for at least the next three years. Over the summer, they signed an agreement with Comedy Central to produce the animated series about four foulmouthed Colorado boys through the end of 2008. (The monetary terms of the deal have not been released.) But the show's enduring success does not mean that making "South Park" has become any easier for its two creators, who met in college at the University of Colorado. Between them, Mr. Stone, 34, and Mr. Parker, 36, write, direct and edit each episode, and they give their voices to most of the main characters. The second half of Season 9 begins tonight at 10. (Mr. Stone and Mr. Parker produce seven episodes in the spring and seven in the fall.)"South Park" has evolved from a cranky, obscene voice of 1990's slacker culture to a high-profile entertainment brand, in large part because it provides a continuous running commentary on current events. Eight years of tackling up-to-the-minute issues like the search for Osama bin Laden, the controversy over Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" and the right-to-die questions raised by the court battle over Terri Schiavo have elevated Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone to a position as opinion arbiters: viewers count on divisive, newsworthy topics getting the "South Park" treatment.Mr. Stone and Mr. Parker bristle at these expectations. "Now it's like, 'What's "South Park" going to do this week about Hurricane Katrina?' " Mr. Stone said. "I don't know what we're going to do. We should do an episode about how the town can't wait to see this show and what they're going to do about Hurricane Katrina." (They may complain, but they can't help themselves: on tonight's episode, a beaver dam breaks, causing a flood in a neighboring town. Assigning blame becomes the top priority.)Animated series are not known for their timeliness, but "South Park" is different. When the show began in 1997, Mr. Parker, Mr. Stone and their staff would spend two weeks on an episode. Now they create each one, from start to finish, in six days, handing it over to Comedy Central on the morning of the broadcast. The process evolved from what Mr. Stone called "sheer procrastination" and Mr. Parker called "laziness."Doug Herzog, Comedy Central's president, said: "For Matt and Trey, life is still a term paper. They put it under the professor's door at 11:59."This crunch is what allows "South Park" to comment in real time on zeitgeist themes, from news headlines to video-game releases, but it's a harried process. Mr. Stone and Mr. Parker begin the Thursday-to-Wednesday week in the writers' room, where they throw around ideas. When they hit on ones that might work, Mr. Parker writes individual scenes so that the animators can begin creating the actual episode. As days pass, those scenes add up to 21 minutes with, eventually, a beginning, an end and a plot. As for how they arrive at an episode's larger narrative, Mr. Parker described the different approaches: "Do we come at it from, 'Remember this from third grade'? Do we come at it from, 'This happened on the news'?"Sometimes an idea is character-driven. "Like, 'We need a Kyle story, there hasn't been much Kyle this season,' " Mr. Parker said. Those episodes, where the boys are just boys, are Mr. Stone's and Mr. Parker's favorite ones. "It feels very 'Peanuts,' " Mr. Parker said.With three more years of "South Park" to go, its creators are trying to figure out what they will do after the show ends. They will soon be starting their own production company - probably, they said, with Paramount, for whom they made last year's "Team America: World Police.""We need to get into producing at some point if we're actually going to have careers in our 40's," Mr. Parker said. "It's really scary, because one of the things we make fun of so much is the Steven Spielbergs, where it's like, 'Dude, stop.' "What kinds of movies would they want to produce? "We don't know yet," Mr. Stone said. "You don't want to make your 'War of the Worlds.' "Speaking of movies, will there ever be a sequel to 1999's "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut"? After making a face when asked, Mr. Stone said, "If we came up with a good idea, we'd do it." But with dozens of episodes to plot, they said, thinking of a good story to put aside for a film is difficult. Particularly when they prefer doing the show, anyway. "We're so satisfied with 'South Park,' " Mr. Parker said. "We don't feel the need to do another movie."The series continues to be Comedy Central's highest-rated show, delivering an average of 2.6 million viewers each week. The eight years' worth of episodes repeat well, also, and Seasons 1 through 6 have sold a total of more than 3.5 million units on DVD.Mr. Herzog, in a telephone interview from his Los Angeles office, called the show the "center of our prime-time effort." "It remains the heart of the network, along with 'The Daily Show,' " he said.Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone will not say with certainty that "South Park" will end after the current contract expires. Mr. Parker said: "If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last "South Park" episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' We've worked so hard on 'South Park,' making it what it is. How can we give that up?"Mr. Herzog said Comedy Central would be willing to extend the show's run into infinity. "If they want to do it, we want to do it," he said. "I say to them face to face that I don't see any reason why 'South Park' can't be on forever."



Have a great one Trey!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


I have recieved word that an upcoming new episode of South Park will tackle the issue of Breast Cancer!

Stay tuned for more details!!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Matt and Trey just signed on for 3 more seasons of South Park, 10, 11, and 12. Assuming SP ends after season 12, my scripts are part of the 13th season of the show.


No one can ever write SP as good as Matt and Trey, but I did the best I can. Feel free to comment on it!

Episode 1301: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Cow Disease!


TVMA: Contains explicit language and content

Farmyard in South Park
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Jimmy, Timmy, and Butters are shown walking in the pastures surrounded by cows. They assemble in one group
Stan- Alright Cartman, what the hell do you want?
Kyle- Yeah, you dragged us all out to cow pasture…. at midnight…. on a school night…. when we have a math test tomorrow, this better be important
Cartman- Oh, don’t worry it is very important.
Stan- Well, what?
Cartman- You you know how to cow tip?
Kyle- What?!!
Jimmy- Cow tipping…oh…Isn’t that when you push a cow and try to knock them over while they sleep?
Cartman- That’s right my handicap able friend, we’re going to cow tip!
( He smiles like it is the greatest thing in the world)
Kyle- Oh Jesus tap-dancing Christ
( Puts his hand on his forehead in disgust)
Butters- I am not too sure about this Eric..this seems like the type of thing that if my parents caught me doing they would ground me.
Cartman- Shut up Butters you parents ground you for everything anyways.. Now guys let me show you how it is done. 1st you pick the cow that you think is best for the tip
Cartman walks over and examines some cows, as he walks over he sings ‘The Dawson Creek’ theme to himself quietly
Cartman- I don’t want to wait….for our lives to be over……
Cartman- Yep, this cow looks about right for some tipping
Kyle- Cartman this is f*cking retarded!!
Cartman- Next, you make sure the cow is fully asleep
Butters- How do you do that?
Cartman- Hhhhh....Like this Butters...
Cartman pulls on the cows eyelids to make sure that he is asleep
Cartman- Oh yeah, that cows asleep alright…Okay, and now for the big moment
Cartman- Back up, back up everybody, step back please..BACK UP!!!!
All the other kids take a step backwards to leave room for Cartman to run
(Kyle shakes his head back and forth)
Butters is positioned right near the ass of the cow Cartman is charging to tip over
Cartman- YEAAAA!!!!……….
Cartman runs full speed into the cows stomach with all his might pushing it hard. The cow then shoots out a load of brown, greenish disgusting crap on Butters face send him flying backwards on his ass and covered with smelly, grass-filled cow sh*t before tipping over and hitting the ground
Butters- EHHHHH!!!!!! ICKY!!!
All the kids laugh hysterically at Butters covered from head to toe in cow sh*t!
Cartman- AHAHAHAH!! Oh man…I never get tired of seeing Butters covered in crap!
Kenny- That totally f*cking rocked!! ( Mphhfhhhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfh)
Kyle- WOW Cartman, I have to admit that was sweet! I think I want to try now
Cartman- Okay step right up Jew
Kyle- I think that one looks like a good one to tip over
Kyle points to a cow in the farmyard
Cartman- Ah…good pick Kyle… Good pick..your catching on quick
Kyle steps back and then charges at the cow and tips it over
When Kyle hit’s the cow it lets out a huge moo
Cow- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kyle- F*cking awesome!! I can’t believe im saying this, but this is really fun Cartman
Cartman- I told you Jewboy
Stan steps into view
Cartman continues to smile from ear to ear
Stan- Alright, my turn
Jimmy- Go S-s-tan!
Timmy- TIMMAH!!!
Stan targets a cow and then charges it like a football player knocking it over on its back
The cows utters open up and milk squirts up in the air like a fountain
Stan- DUDE!! I loved that!!
Stan jumps up and down very happy at what he did
While this is going on, Butters is picking the cow sh*t off of him
Butters- Ewwwww…it’s all grassy
Cartman is across the other side of the pasture, he yells to his friends
Cartman- you guys, you guys come quick! Over here!
All the kids go running over fast and anxiously
Stan- What?!?!
Cartman- 12 cows,…….. in a row…….can you say….. domino effect?!
The 12 cows are shown sleeping lined up in a row
Kyle- Ah dude…
Stan- You knock 1 down and they all fall down!
Kenny- Yeah
Cartman jumps up in down excited
Cartman- I know! It’s gonna be so awesome! Thank god for cows!
Stan- Hey, lets let Timmy do this one
Kyle- Yeah! It will work great! His wheelchair is strong enough to knock them all over
Cartman- okay come on Timmy
Jimmy- Good-good luck Timmy
Timmy- TIMMAH!!
Cartman- wait…wait hold on a second
Kyle- What are you doing Cartman?
Cartman- I am turning up the speed on his wheelchair
Stan- Oh yeah, make it go super fast!
Cartman- Lets see…
Cartman presses a blue button on the wheelchair and the song “ I Touch Myself” starts to play
Cartman- Damn it, how many friggin buttons are on this thing
Cartman then presses a green button and Timmy’s wheelchair goes blasting off towards the cows
Cartman falls over
Cartman- WHOA!!
Jimmy- Holy cow….ahahahahahahahaha
Timmy charges full speed into the first cow sending him hurdling over hitting the next cow, and that cow hit’s the next cow, and that cow hit’s the next cow, and the domino effect ensues
Timmy then smashes thru the chicken coop and in the chicken coop is none other than the naked Chicken Lover having sex with chickens!!
The chickens scatter and feathers go everywhere, and the Chicken lover jumps out of the way scared!
Chicken Lover- Ehhhhh!
All the boys look on in shock, but Cartman is smiling and seems very happy that his plan to knock over all the cows worked
Kyle- Holy sh*t!!
Timmy then runs down a horse knocking it upside down and on the ground
Horse- Naaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
Timmy then crashes thru a barnyard door and hit’s a haystack where he comes to an abrupt stop. He goes flying out of his wheelchair and does a 360 degree flip in slow motion and lands into the hay pile headfirst
Timmy- AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Timmmmmmmy!!!!
All the boys are silent and in shock until Cartman starts to crack up
Cartman- pfff….pffff….ca…ca…ca…Hahhahaaha…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Oh man! Yes!! It worked!! IT WORKED!! I kill myself!
Kyle- CARTMAN!!!! You tubby asshole!! Timmy could have been killed! TIMMY!!!
Cartman puts his hand on his head in laughter, he can barely control himself
All the other kids go running over to Timmy who is lying in the hay in the barn. His wheel chair is completely mangled!
Stan- Timmy!! TIMMY!!
Jimmy- Tim-mmmy Ti Ti Timmy where are you?!?!
Timmy- Oh…Timmah….eggg
Timmy emerges from the hay looking shocked and very confused
Cartman- Oh man..Didn’t you guys see that domino effect? AHAHAHA! That was totally f*cking awesome! Oh man I think I peed my pants...
Cartman looks down to make sure he didn’t piss himself
Cartman- AHH...yep! I did! AHAHAHAHA!!!
Stan- Well come on guys lets go home before we get screwed big time
The boys walk over to try to pick Timmy up from the haystacks when they hear a voice calling
Rancher Bob- HEY!!! WHO IS OUT THERE?!! HEY!! I’ll shoot you you f*cking sons a bitches!!! You better show yourselves now! HEY!!!
Kyle- Someone’s coming!! AH!!
Kyle yells to his friends
Cartman- Oh f*ck!!
Stan- Hide in the hay!! Come on!!
Butters- AHHHHH!!
Timmy- TIMMAH!!
( All are anxious and worried)
The boys quickly scramble into the huge haystacks and hide from Rancher Bob who shoots people who trespass on his land
Rancher Bob comes into the view. He is wearing no shirt, his hair is messed up, he is wearing dirty blue jeans with the fly open,1 boot on and 1 boot off, and with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He is really hillbillyish!
Rancher Bob- Come out!! Come out right now goddamn it!! HEY!!!
Rancher Bob shoots his gun up in the air 4 times to try to scare whoever is on his farm land
It remains very quiet until a mouse scurries by Rancher Bob’s feet
Rancher Bob- AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Rancher Bob shoots the mouse a whopping 12 times blowing the poor mouse to a million pieces!!
We see the boys hiding in the hay very nervously, afraid they are going to get caught by Rancher Bob
Rancher Bob- Hmmmm…goddamn….I could have sworn someone was out here…I must be hearing things..getting old..hmmm
Rancher Bob walks out of the barn house wielding his rifle and scratching his head
Stan- Pheww….he is gone
The kids start to emerge from the haystacks
Jimmy- That was a close one fellas
Timmy- Timmy!!
Kyle- Yeah, now we need to get the hell out of here be…BUTTERS!! AH! Get your hand off my ass now!!!
( The tone of Kyle’s voice becomes mad and he grows veryangry) He slaps Butters hand off of his ass
Butters- I’m sorry Kyle! Mrs. pyshciatrist says whenever I get nervous I act queer
Kyle- Well...cut the crap!!!
Cartman- Kyle and Butters sitting in a tree…K-I-S-S…..
( in a teasing voice)
Kyle turns around and points at Cartman
Kyle- F*ck off Cartman!!!!

If you have any South Park fan fiction scripts you've written, send them to me and I will post them right away!! is my email address!


Episode 908: Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow

Global Warming is determined to be the cause of the massive flood that destroys a neighboring town. It’s a brand new episode of “South Park” entitled “Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow,” premiering Wednesday, October 19 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central. The world’s largest beaver dam breaks and the waters overtake the adjacent town of Beaverton.. As the victims wait for help to arrive, everyone in South Park tackles priority number one: who is to blame? The President, the mayor, scientists, the press and even the flood victims themselves are all busy pointing fingers. Only Stan and Cartman know who’s really at fault.


South Park is my all-time favorite show! I like to think of myself as the number 1 fan. I have every episode on tape, all 3 CDs, 3 video games, a lot of merchandise, 12 South Park t-shirts, and I know EVERYTHING about the show!! It would be foolish of me to create another South Park fan site because I wouldn't be able to top the other great sp fan sites like, , and . My favorite SP sites!! I suggest you check them out! But this blog is for me to showcase the many South Park fan fiction scripts i've written over the last few years. Also, I will post my reviews for SP episodes including the upcoming new episodes! (THIS WEDNESDAY!!!!) I hope to make this blog a kick ass, sweet place to visit!